Spanda

Testimonials

In order to maintain confidentiality, all names have been changed.

"I became aware of many of my difficulties with relationships and I tried different healing systems. They have all been valuable but it was this work that set me free! .....

Rina - Psychotherapy Trainee

"I became aware of many of my difficulties with relationships and I tried different healing systems. They have all been valuable but it was this work that set me free! I realized that my connection to life, love and people was through pain. I had taken the pain that my parents held and I learnt to leave the pain in the family line where it belonged. I don't need to carry it anymore. It deepened my sense of compassion for myself and the members of my family. As a result of this I am now experiencing newness in my relationship with my husband and children. Other relationships seem to become much simpler, easier.

I have also had the privilege of many of my family members doing constellation work Some of them opened up their own constellation and some participated as representatives. I see the benefit of their personal growth in my own life, especially with the love, support / nurturing that we share, and also their own healing. One of them found love, one healed and stopped attracting abusive relationships, one got married, another brought wisdom and balance to his family.

My mother in law and I used to share a very difficult relationship. We loved each other but it was challenging. Now I share a great relationship with her. It feels like love has been unleashed in my family! Its a great feeling to have and belong to a family. This has brought in stability, wisdom, balance and feeling safely anchored. As I witness other families being healed through Constellation work, I see how very fulfilling it is to see and experience families being healed.

I have attended several Constellation workshops. Participating as a representative, by being of service to other families has also brought a greater sense of understanding and peace in my own family. Each time I have participated in Annie's workshop, I have had fresh and new insights which has deepened my understanding and acceptance for my family.

An amazing synchronicity seems to be at work in these workshops - bringing together those with a particular issue and providing resolution."

Rina - Psychotherapy Trainee



What opened up was an amazing experience for me. There were experiences in my past where there are deep hurts but for some reason I was unable to look at them or recognize them as hurts. For me, it was maybe because I simply didn't know that I was hurt or I tried to rationalize it and brush it away; causing within me a lot of conflict and pain....

Mina - Operations Manager in export firm

"I had never heard of this constellation work before I attended this workshop with Annie. I went into it an open mind, setting an intention to let this help me move ahead in my career.

What opened up was an amazing experience for me. There were experiences in my past where there are deep hurts but for some reason I was unable to look at them or recognize them as hurts. For me, it was maybe because I simply didn't know that I was hurt or I tried to rationalize it and brush it away; causing within me a lot of conflict and pain. It was an amazing experience for me to actually get in touch with (and almost see) and re experience the hurts and know that they were real for me. My heart reached out with love and compassion to my inner child who was experiencing them.

When I saw the whole scenario of my past experiences with the other people involved with their fears and insecurities too, I no longer looked at my experience in isolation anymore, I saw that I had myself set barriers and limitations on myself and my capability. From then onwards I started to become more self expressed. This has enabled me to become more expressive and powerful in my communication and I can see myself moving towards my full potential in my career.

My deep gratitude for having had an experience of such powerful work."

Mina - Operations Manager in export firm



Experiencing this work has helped me to let go of certain expectations I had from myself and thereby helped me move towards more freedom to be myself; especially in relation to my children and my role as a mother. It has brought me to a place of strength within myself .....

Prerana - Housewife & NGO worker

In the parenting workshop I learnt a lot about myself and where I come from in dealing with situations, people, my children and myself. I learnt that in any situation or relationship especially children if I looked at everyone as basically being ok then there would be scope for positive growth for everyone involved. And this understanding has directly resulted in lesser clashes and tantrums between me and my children. Banging doors completely stopped! I learnt that unconditional love is what really works and that there is nothing to be fixed. It also taught me to bring in deep respect for myself and my children; the value of positive attention and positive strokes; parenting styles, being firm and having open communication and most importantly to just relax and love! This change has ensued in them starting to interact more with us. More discussions. We found more open and honest communication.

Experiencing this work has helped me to let go of certain expectations I had from myself and thereby helped me move towards more freedom to be myself; especially in relation to my children and my role as a mother. It has brought me to a place of strength within myself and has helped me to let go of my children to find themselves and live their lives and yet support them in nurturing ways. In my being more allowing they have gotten more closer to us. And they have more trust and ease with us.

I am a more relaxed parent. And I stay involved in their lives in a more open, gentle ways. They feel they can be more open and discuss things with me. We have moved from seeking permissions to discussions.

Prerana - Housewife & NGO worker



"My TA journey started with a TA 101. Ever since it's been a new beginning for me with a whole lot of awareness of self and the other. It is an enriching science that has allowed me explore my complete potential in every aspect of life."

Renu - HR Manager

"My TA journey started with a TA 101. Ever since it's been a new beginning for me with a whole lot of awareness of self and the other. It is an enriching science that has allowed me explore my complete potential in every aspect of life."

The TA counseling course has modeled me further, bringing in so much more clarity, helped me understand relationships in a deeper level. This can work wonders the way it unfolds the real root of every problem. I owe it all to Annie for her brilliant execution.

Renu - HR Manager



When I did the (Constellation) workshop, I was dealing with some Career related issues and I had this feeling of "being stuck". I was afraid to make any changes in my job. I had worked in the same department for 5 years and ....

Ruchi

"I did the personal work in the Systemic Constellation workshop in Dec 2010 and I want you to know the changes that this work brought into my life.... thanks !

For the last few years I have been attending various programs, reading several books and yet the anger & incompleteness that I had for my father who died 16 years ago remained. And unknowingly it was constantly eating me away from the inside.

At the Constellation workshop what happened was remarkable........while there was an immediate sense of "release & relief", its only in the following months I truly experienced these feelings. For the last 20 odd years I only felt anger & hatred towards my father, But In the last 6 months, there has not been a single day where I have not thought fondly of my father. In fact I have loving conversations with him...every single day. That feeling of love that I feel for him is something I find it difficult to put into words. It is a warm, secure, happy feeling.

When I did the workshop, I was dealing with some Career related issues and I had this feeling of "being stuck". I was afraid to make any changes in my job. I had worked in the same department for 5 years and while I was steadily growing, I was afraid that I would lose that security (job, money, position) if I made changes. The message that I clearly got in the workshop was to "take a leap of faith"....."move ahead". Sometime in Feb I did get an opportunity to move out to another team and take up a new role. While I still had self doubts, keeping the message that I heard at the workshop, I went ahead and took up this new role. I got promoted, got a hike more than what I expected (and that was fantastic!!), a wonderful manager.........and all this because I took that "leap of faith"!

Thirdly, I always was insecure about money and felt that I didn't have enough and was afraid about the future. I was shocked when I was chosen to represent "Abundance" for another participant because I never saw myself as someone with abundance :) The immense strength that I felt while representing Abundance is something that I had never felt. I realized that in reality I am a source of abundance and I create that...all the time. In the last 6 months, I have attracted abundance into my life - money, positive people, positive experiences. And somewhere.....I feel a lot more confident about my financial future.

The changes have been subtle...working its way slowly...but the impact has been huge. And I want to thank you from the depth of my heart for helping me in this journey."

Ruchi



Annie's approach towards healing is highly fluid, open and improvised, yet very structured. This quality of hers makes tools like TA, Systemic Constellations and others highly effective. Instead of using the structure like a fixed formula, Annie uses it to guide the participants in their own exploration in finding their resolution.

Nina - dancer

"I was introduced to Annie's work through a two-day workshop in Systemic Constellations. It was a very different experience of working with my emotions, as it didn't involve any kind of cognitive/mental practice. I had no idea what I was supposed to "understand" and change in myself to bring internal shift. But after the workshop, in the coming months, I experienced dramatic changes in my approach to my relationships and my work. I found that the healing was taking place in a sub-conscious level, on which my conscious mind had no control. Considering that I am somewhat of an intellectualising individual and this nature of mine often comes in my way of emotional healing, Annie's approach seemed to work very well for me.

Inspired by the shifts, I undertook the 10-month long foundation course in Transactional Analysis under Annie.

Annie's approach towards healing is highly fluid, open and improvised, yet very structured. This quality of hers makes tools like TA, Systemic Constellations and others highly effective. Instead of using the structure like a fixed formula, Annie uses it to guide the participants in their own exploration in finding their resolution.

I find this to be a very strong aspect of Annie's work as it helped me discover my internal strengths that will support me through out my life.

I'm deeply grateful to have crossed paths with Annie's work and to be able to use it in my day-to-day existence. There is a paradigm shift in my awareness and choice-making, which I believe, helps me create a healthy future for myself and for those around me."

Nina - dancer



Working with Annie has been a very enriching experience. She brings in great depth to all her work and hence the integration of the work is at a much deeper level. I find her commitment to my growth very empowering, she has an ability to support and stay with you that in itself is empowering. She brings in a flow and fluidity to her work....

Reema - Life skills trainer

"My journey of working with myself began more than 5 years ago and in this journey I have used many ways and instruments to work with my old emotions, patterns and relationships (especially my relationship with myself). Every step in my journey has greatly contributed to me becoming aware of myself and expressing myself in ways that I would like to.

My work with Annie, however, gave all my inner work great focus and much more depth than I had experienced ever before. It has been has been instrumental in many powerful changes ensuing in my life

Both the constellation and TA in action has opened new doors for me. I saw a powerful integration happening inside of me. Where the new resource states that I wanted to express started integrating at a deeper level than just intellectually and I began actually living them in action. I found a more powerful way of experiencing and expressing my emotions and I could see old emotions and patterns getting addressed and leaving.

The TA in Action program has given me a powerful framework to work with and has really enhanced my life and made in rich in many wondrous ways.

I have done a lot of work with constellations and that work seems to be almost magical in it's effects. It has helped me to really feel a sense of power coming to me from my source and has helped me move in leaps and bounds in my career and out of some stuck places in my life. My doing the constellation has also helped family members make positive movements in their own lives . It has addressed and made movements in issues decades old. More than anything else, it has helped me form a rich connection with my family and I feel anchored in the power I draw from them.

Working with Annie has been a very enriching experience. She brings in great depth to all her work and hence the integration of the work is at a much deeper level. I find her commitment to my growth very empowering, she has an ability to support and stay with you that in itself is empowering. She brings in a flow and fluidity to her work and that has personally helped me move past some of my own blocks. And most of all I have felt extremely safe with her which makes working on intimate issues much easier. Annie I have found my movement in your listening for which I am extremely grateful."

Reema - Life skills trainer



I have started to see my own strength and commitment to my growth in a way I never saw before. When I recognize something as not being productive anymore I just take the steps necessary to find more healthy ways of being. I go past my fears and other blocks....

Neela

Dear Annie,

I have started to see my own strength and commitment to my growth in a way I never saw before. When I recognize something as not being productive anymore I just take the steps necessary to find more healthy ways of being. I go past my fears and other blocks with grace. I really am seeing how brave that little girl in me is and how proactive to making a healthier and more free life for herself! Such a silent strength. And also an immense amount of trust in myself.

I must tell you nowadays instead of hearing my little one say to me---- "I will never let myself get hurt"; I am hearing ---- "It is ok if I get hurt. I know you will be there if that happens." Yay for me :)

Also I wanted to thank you for the exercise that you have me to do last time. It has been so tremendously impactful.

I have always loved my mum, been very close to her and seen all the wonderful things she has done for me. But it was a relationship where she was dependent on me and in many ways was unhealthy.

When I started my journey on working with myself I started to clean up and I guess I did cut off the emotionally unhealthy bits. Simultaneously she started to block herself. I started seeing her perhaps not through the rose tinted glasses that I had for a long time. With all this happening I got judgmental about mum and a lot of suppressed feelings surfaced wedging us apart in many ways.

After this exercise though all the things she has done for me have rushed back into my memory. And I feel such intense gratitude and love towards her. I really see the countless things she has done "right" and all the love she has given me (even stuff I never saw before because she has her own way of giving me her love). I also see my own decisions and how my perception of her has changed because of them.

The difference between now and the love I have always felt for her though is that this time it feels free and is free-ing for both of us. There are no strappings ( as of now at least).This time I see her closer to the person she is in reality and I feel love for all of that!

It has given me strength, freedom that I can't ever articulate. But most importantly it has given me my mum.

I can never ever thank you enough for being so instrumental in me making that happen for myself.

With all my heart! Thank you Annie :)

Neela



Thank you for the wonderful constellation programme. Two days just flew and i could feel there was such a powerful energy that carried us all thro....

Poonam

Hi Annie,

Thank you for the wonderful constellation programme. Two days just flew and i could feel there was such a powerful energy that carried us all thro. The previous day, that is before the workshop, i was feeling very unwell, i surprised myself at how comfortably i could sit thro both the days.

My body was definitely feeling much lighter by the end of the workshop, my aches and pains have reduced a lot though i have been down with fever and not totally recovered. I am feeling more balanced emotionally. Guess thats it for now. I will be in touch and call you.

Warm regards.

Poonam



Thank u for helping me see the masks to acknowledge...to drop it... to be vulnerable...to look at...to be aware...to find ...to Create... for all the times of understanding... a warm hug...loving smile...strength & trust...quiet listening.....

Chitra B

Thank u for helping me see the masks to acknowledge...to drop it... to be vulnerable...to look at...to be aware...to find ...to Create... for all the times of understanding... a warm hug...loving smile...strength & trust...quiet listening... i can say i no longer feel associated with the poem in some ways... i now feel more open...i trust more often... im no longer scared to feel my feelings & share & express...or the need to hide behind...To new beginnings towards finding me...& my wholeness.

I do acknowledge myself to have taken steps towards knowing & experiencing myself towards wholeness & also want to acknowledge that all of this wudn be easier without the love the support the acceptance & space to drop inhibitions to share.. a journey to learn...to open up...to trust... which i found with u alll ... So THANK YOU :)

Especially heart felt gratitude... love & Thank you to Annie & Rashmi ...

Thank u for helping me find my wings & grounded feet

warm & fondest of regards

Chitra B






Please Hear What I'm Not Saying

Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear
For I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
Masks that I'm afraid to take off
And none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,
but don't be fooled,
for God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that all is sunny and unruffled with me,
within as well as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water's calm and I'm in command
and that I need no one,
but don't believe me.

My surface may be smooth but
my surface is my mask,
ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade,
to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation,
my only hope, and I know it.
That is, if it is followed by acceptance,
If it is followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself
from my own self-built prison walls
from the barriers that I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me
of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.
But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to. I'm afraid to.

I'm afraid you'll think less of me,
that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing
and that you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game
With a facade of assurance without
And a trembling child within.
So begins the glittering but empty parade of Masks,
And my life becomes a front.
I tell you everything that's really nothing,
and nothing of what's everything,
of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I'm saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,
what I'd like to be able to say,
what for survival I need to say,
but what I can't say.

I don't like hiding.
I don't like playing superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me
but you've got to help me.
You've got to hold out your hand
even when that's the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes
the blank stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging,
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings --
very small wings,
but wings!

With your power to touch me into feeling
you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me,
how you can be a creator--an honest-to-God creator --
of the person that is me
if you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,
you alone can remove my mask,
you alone can release me from the shadow-world of panic,
from my lonely prison,
if you choose to.
Please choose to.

Do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach me
the blinder I may strike back.
It's irrational, but despite what the books may say about man
often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for.
But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls
and in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls
with firm hands but with gentle hands
for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder?
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet
and I am every woman you meet.


By Charles C. Finn
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